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Showing posts with label Julian Ayrs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Julian Ayrs. Show all posts

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Royal Wedding...Dress Rehearsal for Prince William & Kate! Fancy fruit cake, please!






 






They say:

“Life is not a dress rehearsal.”

However, there are specific occasions when dazzling overwhelming high-profile events require them.

So, that is why there was a big turn-out across the big pond in London yesterday, two days before the Royal Wedding of this - or any century for that matter - revs up!

In anticipation of the much-ballyhooed union of two star-crossed lovers – starring Prince William and Kate Middleton front-row-and center at Westminster Abbey – Queen E2 and her handlers (and a large contingent of Windsors and Middletons) purred around the bustling downtown streets in luxury limos (to essentially trot the gauntlet along the route of the wedding motorcade) to ensure that the Royals get it "just right" tomorrow when the future King of England ties-the-knot with his pretty love (kiss-me-Kate).

Abba, Elton John and his boy-toy - and a posse of others - will have to get to the church in their own sweet time without much help from Officials at Buckingham Palace on the other hand.

Meanwhile - Tony Blair, President Obama, and the Duchess of Pork – um - York - need not fight the crush of traffic since the trio of high-profile personalities won't be attending.

Uh-huh!

All snubbed.

Will there be any missed cues or late entrances?

While the blushing bride is expected to utter up - "I Do" - don't expect Kate to gush that she'll "obey".

According to insider scuttlebutt, the future Princess exercised her right to editorial control, alright.

On the sidelines, Dave Letterman and Jay Leno are expected to toss a jibe or two on their highly-rated talk shows Friday night, in the aftermath of the media bonanza.

Especially when it comes to the official wedding cake.

Although the spokesperson for the Royals took great pains to characterize the frothy-looking multi-tiered cake as a rich delicious treat waiting to be served up with a lot of "wow" factor at the chi-chi after-party, the truth of the matter?

The crown jewel of pastries is basically a fruit cake, all tarted up, nothing more nothing less!

However, for the kiddies (the younger hipper set with a sweet tooth or two not inclined to hanker to tradition, gee whiz), there will be a tasty chocolate crisp yummy sure to go down smoothly with a dash of milk, chilled bubbly, even a brewskie!

At press time, roving reporters were still hovering the crowded terrain at a fever pitch, still anxious to get first dibbs on a publicity still sure to nab millions!

A shot of Kate's designer frock to be worn to Westminster Abbey for the ultra-tony social event of the year would be a mighty coup for any self-respecting paparazzi worth his weight to snap up.

Bet your sweet bippy, that even if the pricey gown doesn't make an entrance early on the world stage - that within minutes of the breathtaking reveal - trendy rip-off designers in the rag-trade will be rustling up cheap knock-offs to flog to commoners anxious to don for their own romantic day of wedded (eternal?) bliss.

News at 11!

http://www.thetattler.biz





Can Wills & Kate top Lady Diana's Royal Wedding?

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Huntington Hospital...Quack Doctors Teyan Ovsepyan & Gregor Paronian guilty of malpractise! Incompetent Nurses Violate Patient Rights!





Huntington Hospital
(A Memorial for those who died here!)







With a nod to documentarian Michael Moore (SiCKO) - once again - I shed a searing spotlight on a medical facility on the West Coast that is not only an outright disgrace to the profession but to the community-at-large.

At Huntington Hospital, for instance, two doctors by the name of - Tevan Ovsepyan and Gregor Paronian - are currently masquerading as professionals in medical environs in the tony enclave otherwise known as upscale Pasadena (CA).

The truth of the matter?

Both physcians (I used the term loosely) are incompetent quacks; in fact - so much so - that their acts of negligence rise to the level of malpractice.

For example, neither doctor is skilled (or trained) well enough to properly diagnose an infected (ailing) patient.

In fact, boh Ovsepyan and Paronian, would have trouble treating the common cold (given the rumors that have been whispered in my ear).

Patients have complained that they were admitted to the disreputable hospital, and their insurance carriers billed (bilked) thousands of dollars, then - released - without any resolution to their medical problems!

"Take an aspirin over-the-counter," one incompetent M.D. (Tevan Ovsepan) recommended to a startled patient bent over in excruciating pain.

A visit to another hospital, for a second opinion, resulted in therapy for a serious infection which lasted over five days for the bedridden "Ovsepyan" victim.

Paronian, on the other hand, found it so difficult writing a prescription that a Nurse on duty (with all the charisma of a slug) was forced to rewrite the order legibly for the arrogant shit (so that the pharmacist could fathom the troubling scrawl).

By the way, the document was rejected by the pharmacy in the end scenario, because the odd-ball slip of paper (and its bizarre contents) did not meet the standards necessary to pass muster upon close scrutiny.

Notwithstanding, the dumpy low-energy nurses at Huntington Hospital, leave a lot to be desired too.

Patients are often left hungry, because the lazy nurses on duty, are often off gossipping with their fellow workers or outside puffing on a cancer stick.

When the issue was raised, the poor-excuse for a Nurse passed the buck, naturally (her name was Kim).

During the course of a two-day stay one patient lamented that his sheets were not changed once.

Can you guess?

The waste can was left to spoil and spill out ominous aromas that could have felled a healthy elephant in one nasty swoop.

I surmise that the maintenance worker was downtown at INS trying to secure his legal papers.

Yes.

The Staff at Huntington have difficulty with the King's English, too.

Unhappy patients were often left without - due to communication problems with staffers - who couldn't converse effectively (or just didn't care about the well-being of their charges).

Poor shits!

Meals are usually served cold and tasteless.

And, If you're lucky, the waitress might fill your coffee cup to the half-way mark.

But, don't count on it.

If you're pining for creamer, sorry kiddo, you'll have to gulp it down black.

They're a stingy unsophisticated low-class lot low-lifes at Huntington to be sure.

One patient was discharged without any improvement in his care - and in the final analysis - felt like he was kicked out because his time clock was up.l

A nurse fessed up.

"Another patient is already slated to move into the Hospital room."

In spite of the fact the coffin-sized cold-water flat was not cleaned, or sanitized, or what-have-you.

An individual may actually exit the premises plagued with a host of uglier infections than when he or she first ventured in.

In a nutshell, Huntington is a bloody nightmare and a cesspool of disease.

A shoddy excuse for a healing facility.

A word of Saintly advice?

Avoid this dump like the plague.

And, of course, report the doctors who terrorize the patients here to the State Medical Board.

You just might save a life or two in the process!

News at 11!

http://www.thetattler.biz





Two Turds transformed into work of art at Huntington!

Kate Hudson...flashes 9 carat engagement ring! Music to her ears! Bling to eyes!



 



Image: Kate Hudson's ring







Looks like the love bug has been flitting about this spring.

Have Wills & Kate triggered a yearning for lazy mornings in bed, romantic treks down the aisle all gussied up and ready to tie-the-knot, and wet sloppy kisses on exotic jaunts to far-away-places on the restless high seas?

When fans get a gander at love-happy Kate Hudson (and musical boy-toy Matt Bellamy) the response appears to be a resounding "yes!".

"I'm engaged!"  Hudson fessed up excitedly on the morning show, after Matt Lauer was blinded by a dazzling 9 carat sparkler on her hand this morning!

"I haven't really announced it," Kate gushed, as she beamed pretty ear to ear.

"I was waiting for someone to notice the ring."

So, Cupid's arrow has struck, I expect.

How do those lyrics from that loopy pop tune go?

Let me tell you 'bout the birds and the bees
And the flowers and the trees
And the moon up above
And a thing called "Love"

Let me tell you 'bout the stars in the sky
And a girl and a guy
And the way they could kiss
On a night like this

When I look into your big brown eyes
It's so very plain to see
That it's time you learned about the facts of life
Starting from "A" to "Z"

Let me tell you 'bout the birds and the bees
And the flowers and the trees
And the moon up above
And a thing called "Love" (Yeah!)

When I look into your big brown eyes
It's so very plain to see
That it's time you learned about the facts of life
Starting from "A" to "Z"

Let me tell you 'bout the birds and the bees
And the flowers and the trees
And the moon up above
And a thing called "Love"

May cupid's arrow find you happy, healthy, and head-over-heels in love!

Later!

http://www.thetattler.biz/





Tuesday, April 26, 2011

DOC U...Haskell Wexler & James Longley appear @ IDA Panel Discussion! Hollywood!






Doc U focuses on filmmakers!






In the wake of innovative new technological advances (where cameras are cooler, niftier, and more flexible in nature) - and in view of a proliferation of in-your-face reality-based shows on TV  touting gladiator-style entertainment programming - the role of the documentary filmmaker is being held up to closer scrutiny.

With that scenario unfolding in mind, three high-profile filmmakers were invited to attend a panel discussion last night at DOC U (under the auspices of the International Documentary Association) in Hollywood at the Silent Film Theatre on Fairfax Avenue to discuss the boundaries of the medium - if any - that exist today in an atmosphere where there appears to an "anything goes" or "take no prisoners" mentality.

The three panelists - at the top of their game right now (and as different as night and day in their approach to their scintillating projects) - openly discussed their roles with the aim of shedding some light on the kind of dilemmas that filmmakers face today.

Richard Pearce moderated the event as part of a DOC U series sponsored by ida (International Documentary Association).

In the old-world charm of the Silent Film Theatre (where publicity stills of Hollywood legends graced the dusty walls), Joan Churchill ("Dixie Chicks: Shut up and Sing"; "Role of a Serial Killer", "American Family"); Haskell Wexler ("Medium Cool", "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf") and James Longley ("Irag in Fragments") succeeded in rustling up a riveting cinematic event that ended up being upbeat, thought-provoking and inspiring to the packed house comprised mostly of aspiring young filmmakers interested in pursuing a mainstream career in documentary filmmaking.

When asked what were some of the ethical problems that documentary filmmakers faced today on the fast-shifting film terrain that has literally transformed the industry, the discussion became a lively informative debate.

For example, Ms. Churchill underscored that it was important to be "inside the circle" - and not outside of it - for a project to succeed.

After all, cementing a trust between filmmaker and subject is of paramount importance in the overall scheme of things.

The low-key down-to-earth filmmaker gave an example.

One day, an unexpected tragedy caused Churchill to shoot a handful of intimate personal scenes - that were highly sensitive, in nature - in respect to a subject featured in her documentary.

Instead of swooping down like a vulture - in pursuit of her prey - Churchill was prompted to act ethically instead.

Once the shy soft-spoken director captured the unexpected turn-of-events on film, she turned the footage over to her subject, and left the matter in her hands.

Whether the footage would be included in the documentary would rest on a decision made by the young lady involved - not the director - Joan Churchill.

In this way, the filmmaker managed to establish a rapport with the individual after-the-fact - and ultimately - gained the woman's trust and respect.

In the end scenario, Churchill was given permission to use the thought-provoking material, which was not surprising in view of the way the filmmaker handled the issue.

In one hilarious moment, out-of-the-blue, Mr. Haskell took the mic and shouted out.

"What am I doing here?  What am I doing here?"

At first, audience members thought the legendary filmmaker was having a senior moment.

However, when Haskell continued, his message - which came across a little off-the-wall a few seconds earlier - ending up ringing crystal clear.

"As a filmmaker, I have to ask. What am I doing here?  What am I trying to accomplish?"

Then, there was the issue of putting creativity - and the artist's vision - on the line.

What sacrifices must be made, if any?

When John Longley's clip - "Iraq in Fragments" - was previewed last night, it was evident that he took risks - personally and professionally - in a nervy bold-faced effort to land his precious footage in the can.

Because of his sensitivity to the subjects - and his keen ability to instinctively tip-toe thorugh a potentially-volatile situation unscathed - he was able to pull a remarkabe coup off.

Film buffs in the audience - myself included - were astounded when the breathtaking stunning images he conjured up on film splashed across the screen with great cinematic style.

Unlike Joan Churchill (who said she didn't care what the film looked like because she was just concerned with the content) Longley's film turned out a remarkable work of art.

Which underscores the obvious.

Documentaries don't have to be boring accounts of mundane subjects thrown together with the express purpose of teaching and/or enlightening the masses.

Indeed, judging from the response of the audience at last night's panel discussion, it is evident that documentary filmmakers are not only breaking exciting new ground in the realm of documentary film, but garnering ia helluva-a-lot of interest to boot!
From the bottom up.

"You don't need a lot of money to make a film if you make it yourself. You just have to pay for your equipment," underscored Joan.

And, it didn't escape my attention, that there were quite a few advantages to working para-military-style with quality hand-held cameras in tow.

After all, the easy-to-use lensers are capable of zooming in, out, and documenting far - out-of-the-way - intimate places that 35 mm cameras can't begin to.

Even the lights can drag a cameraman down and hinder the shooting process as well.

Moderator Richard Pearce ("Hearts and Minds", "Food, Inc.") was a charming inquisitive host who carried off the challenge of fielding questions admirably.

Pearce began his professional career in the late 1960’s as a documentary cameraman.

His early credits as a cinematographer include four Oscar-winning films: Woodstock, Marjoe, Interviews with My Lai Veterans and Hearts and Minds.

Pearce made his feature directorial debut with the period drama "Heartland" which won the Golden Bear at the 1980 Berlin Film Festival and opened the New York Film Festival’s first “Showcase of American Independents.”

Haskell Wexler took home statuettes for his work on Mike Nichols' "Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf" and Hal Ashby's "Bound for Glory".

Wexler has worked with Norman Jewison, George Lucas, Michael Moore, and John Sayles.

He directed two features, Medium Cool and Latino.

I caught a screening of Medium Cool earlier this year in San Francisco which was screened in tandem with a major exhibition at the Museum of Contemporary Art.

Post: 03/03/10

http://forgusbeylan.blogspot.com/2011/03/san-francisco-museum-of-modern.html

Both films broke the mold of conventional story telling by using the immediacy of documentary-style filmmaking.

Wexler was  the first Cinematographer to every land a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Joan Churchill began her career doing camera work on a series of music films such as "Gimme Shelter" (Rolling Stones), No Nukes (directed by Haskell Wexler), and Barbara Kopple and Hail, Hail Rock and Roll, (directed by Taylor Hackford).

Churchill is probably best-known for her work on the cult series "An American Family "(which broadcast originally on PBS).

Early on in his film career, James Longley was honored for his work by prestigious organizations.

"Portrait of Boy with Dog" was awarded a Student Academy Award® in 1994 by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

He made his first feature documentary "Gaza Strip" in the early months of the second Palestinian uprising.

In 2002, Longley began pre-production work on his second documentary feature "Iraq in Fragments".

The film was awarded jury prizes for Best Documentary Directing, Best Documentary Editing, and Best Documentary Cinematography at the Sundance Film Festival.

"Iraq in Fragments" went on to win the top documentary film awards at major national and international festivals, garnered an Emmy Award nomination for Best Documentary Cinematography, and an Academy Award® nomination for Best Feature Documentary.

After the panel wrapped - film buffs, the press, and invited guests - strolled back to the patio (under a romantic star-lit sky) to sip on wine, snack on delicious crackers and cheese, and chat each other up.

At this point, a couple of revelations overcame me, which are worthy of sharing.

For starters, steer clear of the talent's "handlers" wjhen mixing and minglimg - and, if possible - alight next to the guest star instead.

For example, when I approached Mr. Wexler and asked if he had any thoughts on Elizabeth Taylor (who he worked with on "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" many moons ago) a woman - who stuck like glue to the Director's side all night - pooh-poohed my query.

"That's not an appropriate question here," she snipped at me with a mean edge in her voice.

But, Mr. Wexler turned to me, and was inclined to follow up.

"What did he say," Wexler quizzed his escort pointedly, as he turned up the volume on his hearing aid.

At this juncture, the rude woman relented, and repeated my question to the honored guest.

Surprise!

The talented filmmaker was only too happy to respond.

"The one thing I will say about Elizabeth is this. When I won my Oscar that night, I accepted it in the name of Art and Peace. Later, Elizabeth came over to me, and thanked me for saying that."

Meanwhile, Joan Churchill - who was apparently choking over a whiff of garlic (?) - didn't have much of a personality to warm up to. She practically faded into the wall, that's how much charisma she exhibited backstage.

When I asked what project was on the horizon next, she stared at me blankly.

To lighten up an awkward situation, I persisted.

"Any scoops for me?"

"No scoops for you," she replied, with all the charm of a worm.

Eugh!

On that note, I waved my good-byes, and headed out.

For the most part,  the Doc U event was a dynamic entertaining one.

See 'ya there next month, eh?

http://www.thetattler.biz






Sunday, April 24, 2011

Scandals...of the Privileged Few! A Novel by Julian Ayrs! Chapter 6!









 



The sun was a golden orb slipping down the horizon when Sterling started the long trek home.

Caught in a crush of afternoon rush-hour traffic at the 405 Freeway in West Los Angeles, he casually flipped the dial of the radio in search of some classical music to calm his nerves.

Los Angeles drivers are terrors on wheels!

The botanist was completely the opposite on the other hand.

In fact, his friends dreaded the thought of being a passenger while he was at the wheel.

"You drive like an old lady," Frankie noted in frustration one day last fall, as he wiggled in his seat uncomfortably.

"Everyone is passing us."

The unemployed auto worker was clearly humiliated.

True, Sterling was a cautious motorist.

When the Ohio-born only child moved to the big bad orange (his nickname for LA LA LAND) he made a pact with himself not to get caught up in the road rage prevalent on the highways and byways of sunny southern California.

He hung a crucifix on the rear view mirror and made a point of "blessing" his car every time he alighted inside his fire engine red Fiat.

Sterling was very fussy about anyone touching his car. Valet parking? Not on your sweet short life. He rented an apartment off an alley where car jockeys parked upscale vehicles for their chic owners when they trotted off for cocktails and dinner at any one of the trendy watering holes on restaurant row on La Cienega Boulevard.

The way they tore down the dark alleys - with dust and pebbles flying wildly in all directions - convinced him.

No way Jose!

Of course, he wasn't one of those phony show-biz wannabees anxious to be spied by one of the paparazzi from TMZ or Page 6 scrambling for a revealing scoop or photo opportunity.

"I dont' care if I have the right-of-way. If they want to go - I say - let them speed on to their untimely deaths without me."

If someone tailgated him, he simply pulled over to the curb and waved them on.

"Be my guest, road hog," he'd mutter under his breath.

He was improving his Karma, after all, in the grand scheme of things.

Suddenly, a few words of a talk show host which floated across the airwaves on the squawk box, intrigued him.

"H.A.A.R.P. is a scientific research facility located near Gakon in the remote Alaskan outback and is a joint Navy and Air Force project. This facility is used to study the earth's ionosphere, the electrically-charged belt surrounding our planet's upper atmosphere ranging between 40 to 60 miles from its surface."

Because Sterling was essentially a plant doctor, in his opinion flowers and trees - and wildlife in general - vibrated on a level of intelligence man was unfamiliar with.

Years ago, when researchers encouraged plant lovers to talk soothingly to their leafy green mood-boosters around their homes to promote growth, most Americans thought the scientists were off their rockers.

But, legitimate experiments have established since then that plants are not only sensitive, but capable of sensing danger.

For instance, in one controlled lab setting, a tomato plant with ripe fruit was placed on a table with a handful of electrodes attached to a lie detector machine.

When a researcher outside the door of the lab was given instructions to enter and stroll up to the plant and pluck off a tomato, the monitor registered a pronounced reaction on the screen.

The test results established that fear swept over the plant for a moment or two.

And, as soon as the scientist strode into the lab and snatched a tomato off a branch, the plant literally went into shock.

The ramifications were astounding.

Sterling was intrigued about the concept of H.A.A.R.P. for good reason.

According to the disc jockey, H.A.A.R.P was a controversial high frequency radio transmitter also known as an "ionospheric" heater.

On the surface, explanations about the project sounded innocent enough.

The Military has been using the billion-watt pulsed radio beam in the earth's upper atmosphere to create extremely low frequency waves (or ELF waves) with beneficial effects.

"This technology is expected to enhance communications with submarines and allow mankind to see into the Earth and detect anything from oil reserves to underground military targets."

Oh, oh!

An alarm bell went off in Sterling's handsome little head.

If H.A.A.R.P. was being used strictly for humanitarian reasons - to better the daily lives of sentient beings on the planet by curing disease, healing the environment, and forewarning about impending global disasters - wouldn't the project be run by scientists instead of the military?

The applications of the "science" can be traced back to the work of Nikola Tesla, a Yugoslavian Scientist, and his amazing achievements which include the Tesla Coil or "magnifying transmitter" which is still used in televisions and radios today.

When Sterling cruised to their web site later that evening, he learned some eye-opening facts.

The transmitter generates extremely low frequency (ELF) waves and is capable of communicating with submerged submarines and conducting geophysical probes to identify and characterize natural ionospheric processes so that techniques can be developed to mitigate or control them.

Anti-H.A.A.R.P activists fear that the Military may be experimenting with Tesla's concept with the ultimate aim of developing mind control techniques.

And, at one web site, a hysterical blogger made wild claims that the recent raft of earthquakes in politically-sensitive hot-spots were man made.

"It's all documented," he asserted to doubters in the comment section, though it didn't escape Sterling's attention that he neglected to post any evidence supporting the claims.

When Sterling put forth that question, the dizzy blogger's response was quick and to the point.

"It's highly sensitive material, that's why."

A handful of concerned individuals are involved in a strident effort to shut H.A.A.R.P. down.

They worry about the fact the military is capable of generating an ionospheric lens capable of focusing on large amounts of high frequency energy and ionospheric processes that may be potentially exploited for a Department of Defense Electron acceleration of infrared (IR).

Say what?

In addition, the Government has fessed up they intend to utilize optical emissions to control radio wave propagation properties and generate geomagnetic field aligned ionization to control the reflection-scattering properties of radio waves.

H.A.A.R.P is a remarkable tool also capable of using oblique heating to produce effects on radio wave propagation - and thus - broadening potential military applications for ionospheric enhancement technology.

To alleviate widespread fear, managers have asserted publicly that the applications being used at the facility in Alaska are relatively harmless.

For example, one spokesperson at H.A.A.R.P. stressed that the fundamental goal of the research conducted is knowledge gathering in nature.

In sum, allegedly the aim is to understand natural phenomenon occurring in the Earth's ionosphere and near-space environment.

Information derived from this research will have a major value in the design of future communication and navigation systems for both military and civilian use.

Although research conducted at the H.A.A.R.P. observatory is generally published in peer-reviewed scientific journals - such as the Journal of Geophysical Research, Geophysical Research Letters, and Radio Science - naysayers contend that the results of experiments of a highly sensitive nature are kept secret.

And, there have been allegations that negative impacts on the environment in the vicinity have been kept under wraps.

"All of the significant environmental impacts associated with building and operating the H.A.A.R.P. observatory at Gakona can be mitigated to an acceptable level," a spokesman boasted.

"Some insignificant potential impacts, such as lost habitat, and wildlife impacts, may not be mitigated," staunch opponents fire back angrily.

According to project scientists, the H.A.A.R.P. facility will not affect weather.

Critics disagree.

Sterling was troubled about the data he stumbled on.

The military possibilities were scary.

And, the Government's tendency to downplay their involvement was downright suspicious.

No wonder, there were so many conspiracy theories running rampant on the Internet recently," Sterling quipped to a friend over coffee at Starbucks.

Intelligent concerned citizens like actor Martin Sheen have jumped on the protest bandwagon.

Why not Sterling?

(to be continued)


http://www.thetattler.biz

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Scandals...of the Privileged Few! A Novel by Julian Ayrs! Chapter 5!








Nathan was mulling over his plans for the evening (Friday night in the big city!) when his cell went off.

The ring tone spit out the message like clock work.

"Fuck off!"

That always took strangers within earshot by surprise.

Dare he answer it?

Nathan flipped the top of his cell and glanced at the number.

Ah, it was Jon.

Maybe, he'd like to cruise out to the Casino and blow off some steam, too.

"Yellow?" he teased playfully in to the mic, as he waited for his old school pal to respond.

Jon was having some problems with his girlfriend and was knocking him up - as English blokes would say in jolly old England across the big pond - to cry on Nathan's wide shoulders.

Perfecto!

It was going to be a snap to twist his arm and arrange to hook up at Clay and Kearney where the rambunctious due could hop on a shuttle out to Red Hawk to gamble.

"See 'ya at 7 o'clock sharp, then."

___________________________________________________


As usual, Jon was tardy.

"Fashionably late," he uttered up defiantly, as if to say "so there!".

When it came to the nuances of social etiquette, Nathan wasn't one to dither.

Notwithstanding, his buddy needed a little sprucing up in the wardrobe department.

He gave Jon the quick once over.

Uh-huh!

The same old same old.

The 6' 2" former football player was sporting rugged black jeans (accented by an ornate western-style belt at his slightly-overweight waist), finely-tooled custom-made boots, and faded rustic plaid shirt topped with a requisite ubiquitous ten gallon cowboy hat (which screamed out red neck).

Hee Haw!

He was an ass-kicker, there was no denying it.

"Heh, let's zip over to McDonald's and get a burger," Nathan coaxed, as he double-checked the mad money in his worn leather billfold."

"s not steppin' inside of that fuckin' hellhole. I told 'ya, before. I'm tired of the immigrant workeover-running the place," he barked at his friend in disgust.

"Oh, come on. It's not that bad, Jonny-boy!"

"Look, McDonald's used to be a great American success story. When the guy who founded the place went global, and  started to rake in millions, it underscored what capitalism was all about in this country. There's nothing wrong with the work ethic, and trying to strike it rich in the good old U of S A!  But now, fast-food take-out joints like McDonald's are taking a nose dive, kiddo. To cut back on overhead, and increase profit, the greedy bastards have been rustling up low-paid illegal immigrants to serve junk-food junkies around the nation. And, to make matters worse, most of 'em don't speak any English. All they know is how to punch in the code for a McMuffin. And, calculate the change with the help of the cash register."

 Jon paused to catch his breath.

"You know what really irks me now?"

Nathan was afraid to ask.

"Well, I'll tell 'ya," he continued, without skipping-a-beat.

"About every two-and-a-half seconds, some jerk-off in a brown monkey suit, starts dawdling next to the table while I'm trying to eat my happy meal. With a scraggly mop in hand, the loser starts to scour the floor over and over again. Seesh!  The reek of detergent up my nostrils is enough to make me throw up, Nat."

"You're hilarious," Nathan chuckled a little nervously, when he caught sight of a couple of tough swarthy-looking  construction workers giving the two of them dirty looks from a perch at a bus stop.

"You'd better keep it under your lid," Nathan half-whispered under his breath.

"They'll peg you for a racist. You'll get beat up like that gal in Baltimore."

"Fuck 'em. When they belly-ache about their rights and being mistreated, that's just Jim dandy. Ain't it?  But, when an annoyed Anglo-Saxon legitimately gripes about the behaviour of a Mexican or a Black, they're called racists," he lamented, as he gave a knowing glance to the two dudes who were now glaring at him.

"The gardeners in WeHo and Beverly Hills tick me off, too Every ten minutes, they're hosing down the sidewalk. They don't have a clue about conservation, for one thing. And, forget about being knowledgeable about water shortages, either. The leaf blowers? Noise polluters, for starters. Ever watch those idiots in action?  They just blow a whole stack of dead leaves from one spot to another, then back again. An exercise in futiliry. Great way to go, if you're being paid by the hour. Useless, fuckers!  One day, one careless worker splashed water on my expensive boots. Did he apologize?  No, sir!  Must have been born in a barn. No manners whatsoever," he scowled.

"Well, in some respects, you're right," Nathan started to reply, before he was cut off.

"Damn right, I am. I talk the talk. I say stuff that other folks are thinking, But, they're too candy-ass to speak up about it.  I tell 'ya, I am sick of the way decent white Americans are being treated in this country today. We should run 'em all out, send 'em packing."

At this juncture, Nathan howled.

OMG!

His buddy was not unlike some ignorant - back-woods hillbilly - depicted in some Hollywood movie!

"Well, you can't take it out on them, really. Big corporations want cheap labor, so they exploit illegal Mexican workers. A lot of these immigrants  come to America - legally or not - for a better life. Jon, aren't you familiar with the passage inscribed on a plague at the Statue of Liberty - you know - the one about the humbling masses?"

"Humble assholes, more like it. I wouldn't mind, if they pulled their weight. But, the truth of the matter is, as soon as they get to this country they go on welfare and drain the public coffers. They are the scourge of the earth, if 'ya ask me!  On the news the other night, one anchorman reported that the Latino population has tripled from 15 million to 50 million in just a scant few years."

"Really?" Nathan responded in shock. He had no idea.

"They're taking all the jobs from young Americans. When I was a kid in the burbs, students usually worked part-time at McDee's on Easter break, during the Christmas holidays, and throughout the summer holidays. The money they earned paid for the cost of tuition, books, and their upkeep at College. Now, it's a lot tougher to get by, especially now that the Universities have raised the fees."

Nathan couldn't really argue to the contrary about that. It was true, after all. Times were tough, alright.

"I've heard that some of these McDonald's franchises are owned by drug cartels and that they're hiring their own, if you get my drift."

"That's preposterous. You don't know the owners are drug dealers."

"I wouldn't be surprised."

Quite a few immigrants from India own 711 convenience stores, so I don't know what is wrong with that.

"Just wait. One of these days they're going to poison us with that fast food junk at the take-out counter. Mark my words. Remember when that controversy took place in Arizona last year over the Mexican illegals?  It was revealed that Hispanic instructors were teaching grade school students to mistrust white folks. And, at taxpayers expense! The jerk-offs actually hammered into their heads that white folks were responsible for their alleged oppression. Give me a break!"

And, there's another thing, he continued with his rant.

"Ever tried to have conversation with one of 'em?"

"When a Black individual and a White person have a conversation, their emotions usually ripple across their faces. So, 'ya get a sense of how a person is reacting to the other. "Ya get a line on how an individual is relating. With a Latino?  Nothing!  Pay attention next time. I have noticed that if I ask a Mexican a question - or speak to them in general at McDonald's or wherever - that they don't reveal their feelings. Their faces are blank!  All the personality of a sluf. You know that old expression, eh?  The lights are on, but nobody's home. Some days, I want to reach across the counter and shake some sense into them. What morons!"

Now that Jon was all fired up, it was difficult to calm him down.

"And, when they talk in Spanish with another employee, they do it to exclude white folks from a conversation. That drives me up the wall. I get angry. In fact, I want to shout at them - "Look this is America. Speak English. If you don't like the way we do things here, go back to Mexico!".

"They were probably born in Silverlake," Nathan kidded, as he glanced at his watch to check the time.

I had a real laugh the other day when I played a joke on one of them on the counter at McDonald's on Pine Street.

When a short fat Mexican worker turned to a fellow co-worker, and spoke to her in Spanish, I jumped on it.

"I know how to speak Spanish, I sternly warned her, as I looked her dead in the eye."

"You do?" Nathan reacted with surprise.

'No. Of course not.  I just said that so she wouldn't try to pull that stunt in the future. If that low-life thinks I understand Spanish, she won't make fun of me to her co-workers in the future."

"But, you don't know that," Nathan replied calmly.

"You can tell. If you have words with someone, and they turn to a friend and whisper something hoping not to be heard, I think it is pretty much a given that they're disrespecting you whether you know it for a fact or not."

He sighed.

"Nathan, you can tell by the way they act after-the-fact."

"Jon, you're paranoid."

"Nope. I just know when I am being made a fool of, and I don't like it."

Fortunately, at this juncture in the heated conversation, the bus pulled up.

Now, the tirade would stop in its tracks, thankfully.

He hated it when Jon was on the rag about illegal immigrants.

But, believe it or not, just about everyone he knew was up-in-arms about the escalating situation with illegals.

In particular, as Jon noted, the general consensus was that their was a sinister plot underfoot - a conspiracy - to secure U.S. Citizenship for illegal Mexican workers (even by nefarious outrageous means).

Recently, he was sickened when a news report exposed a group of illegals who were renting a safe house, where pregnant Latinos were housed to help carry them to term.

When the neighbors complained that something suspicious was going-down on, the authorities stormed the premises, and found about two dozen babies in cradles in a kitchen with plastic draped over the young ones in a makeshift kind-of incubation tank.

God!

How barbaric!

Baby factories proliferating in the United States.

No wonder they call them anchor babies.

And, get this.

Immigration issued a press release informing the media that they were not going to charge the individuals with a crime.

They just shut down their shop.

Well, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that they'll just start up their baby factory somewhere else more remote, maybe.

Where will it all end?

Nathan shuddered to think.

(to be continued)

http://www.thetattler.com





Friday, April 22, 2011

Lindsay Lohan...sentenced to 120 days in jail! Probation Violation!






Lindsay "brazen" according to Judge!







Poor Lindsay Lohan!

Today, on what was supposed to be "Good" Friday, the tables turned against her.

I guess you could say the down-on-her luck film star got crucified!

After the prosecutor submitted evidence to the court at a hearing today, and arguments were vigorously offered up by her defense lawyer, the Judge ruled against the "Mean Girls" star.

The bench warmer noted in open court that it was his finding that Lohan violated her probation.

In spite of the fact the charge on the "alleged theft of a necklace" was reduced to a misdemeanor, the troubled drug-adled starlet was sentenced to 120 days in jail for failing to abide by the terms of her probation.

In addition to the jail sentence, Ms. Lohan has been ordered to serve 400 hours of community service - most of which - must be completed at a woman's center.

In a curious twist, a portion of the community service must be completed at the local morgue.

Was the Judge sending a hint to Ms. Lohan?

"This is what may come to pass if you don't alter your path to self-destruction."

At the end of the hearing, the defendant was led away by a posse of bailiffs at the Courthouse.

Lohan's attorney, Shawn Holley, said she will appeal the ruling which will allow the actress to post bail which was set at $75,000

For those who weren't counting, this will be Lohan's fourth visit to the local pokey to serve time.

Lohan entered a not guilty plea in respect to the theft charge before she exited the courtroom.

Bottom line?

Sautner noted in court that he based the jail sentence on a determination that there had been intent.

 "I see a level of brazenness with - "Let me see what I can get away with here" - he stated matter-of-fact to the hushed courtroom.

Ms. Lohan sat stone-faced when the Judge issued the ruling.

Wonder what she's thinking behind bars tonight?

News at 11!

http://www.thetattler.biz




Lindsay Lohan...Mafia made offer Director couldn't refuse! Gotti tale to lens soon!





 




Well - there has been quite a flurry of frenzied industry and media attention around Lindsay Lohan over the past few days - in an arena where the sultry drug-adled actress aches for recognition!

The off-again on-again casting of Ms. Lohan in the John Gotti film bio has caused quite a few tongues to wag!

Wouldn't you agree?

Initially, the rumors circulated that the nose-candy taster- oh, so extraordinaire - might have been too much of an insurance risk for the brass at the studio to handle in the throes of her troubles with the long arm of the law.

If you're a Lindsay Lohan fan - or, even not, for that matter - then you're probably familiar with the ongoing saga (of soap opera proportions) that has dragged on in respect to the Gotti project.

Will she or won't she?

Play the role, silly!

The latest word from the director's chair is "yes". Well, sort of.

Although she wasn't cast in the challenging part she pined for, Lindsay will be using her considerable acting chops to carve out a niche for herself in a lesser role on the Gotti project.

Initially, the inexperienced auteur nixed bringing the "Mean Girls" star on board, on the grounds that Ms. Lohan's handlers were making too many demands on behalf of the sexpot.

But, in the end scenario, he capitulated.

Did some goon make him an offer he couldn't refuse?

Uh-huh!

There may have been some strings pulled behind-the-scenes - by Gotti's "people" - just betcha!

Think about it!

Last week, when John Travolta appeared on a night-time talk show to plug the flick, a few pertinent details slipped from his lips unexpectedly.

When asked if Lindsay was slated to play a role, the "Hairspray" star responded in no uncertain terms.

Not only was the frequent jailbird right for the part - the fact she grew up with the "Gotti's" - might factor in.

Did the Director wake up one morning with the head of his prize-winning horse on the pillow next to his nose totally out-of-whack?

News at 11!

http://www.thetattler.biz






Type casting?

LA Asian Pacific Film Festival...award-winning THE LULU SESSIONS premieres!








Film buffs are buzzing about - THE LULU SESSIONS - which is slated to premiere at the DGA under the auspices of the Asian Pacific Film Festival in Los Angeles on April 30th.

The film by S. Casper Wong has been nominated for a Grand Jury Award.

THE LULU SESSIONS is a raw and deeply personal documentary with a larger-than-life protagonist. It wrestles with everyone’s biggest fear about how to face the end of life," the filmmaker's handlers noted in a press release this past week.

In a nutshell, the insightful filmmaker focuse his lens on LuLu (Louise ), a potty-mouthed chain-smoking no-holds barred researcher, who is forced to grapple with the meaning of life when breast cancer strikes.

Mr. Wong documents Lulu's last fifteen months alive - and an adventure that rattles her assumptions - values and self-image (even tests the limits of the bond between LuLu and the filmmaker who happens to be her best friend).

THE LULU SESSIONS is a film that offers us insight not only into a deeply connected relationship - but the beginning of an intimacy between two women that outgrows our understanding of friendship and partnership – and maybe even life.

"Dying becomes a process of shedding long-held but stale presumptions, obligations and relationships and forging new ones."

In essence, Th Lulu Sessions is a powerful stark testimonial about our capacity for love, friendship, forgiveness - and life itself - in the face of impending mortality. It prods us to wonder what our own final adventure will look like. And with whom will we be sharing this last ride.

S. Casper Wong is no stranger to the film industry.

Her "Shirts & Skins", a narrative short, was broadcast nationally by the Independent Film Channel and is in the Tribeca Film Institute’s curated Reframe Collection.

"OO 1", a narrative feature screenplay, received the Alfred P. Sloan Foundations Grant for Screenwriting and Grand Jury Prize for Best Screenplay at Urbanworld Film Festival (and was awarded screenwriting grants).

Wong is currently working on "Staying Well" - a feature documentary and television mini-series in collaboration with UCLA about integrative East-West medicine - and "Becoming" (a longitudinal documentary chronicling Chinese adoptees growing up in American families).

See 'ya at the Los Angeles premiere!

http://www.thetattler.biz





The LuLu Sessions screens at DGA!
(LA Asian Pacific Film Festival)

Starbucks...free coffee with travel mug! Celebrate Earth Day! WeHo deal!









Starbucks, a Patch partner, is honoring Earth Day on Friday by giving away free brewed coffee or tea.

"People will need to bring in a reusable tumbler or travel mug," according to a company spokesperson.

REDEAMABLE ONLY

Friday April 22nd
Earth Day

http://www.thetattler.biz



KIDS FIRST...film critic boot camp! Calling all E! Reporters!









Oh, I can feel the competition breathing down my neck already!

Nonetheless, I'm all for plugging the KIDS FIRST "Film Critics" boot camp which revs up in the next few weeks.

Do you think that your kid has what it takes to become a movie reviewer?

Or, at least a cub reporter along the lines of Lois Lane or Jimmy Olsen at the Daily Planet?

If your tween-aged child has a hankering to be the next Roger Ebert, there’s a camp where they can train to build a foundation of knowledge and skills to one day attain that goal.

KIDS FIRST is offering up its 2nd Film Critics Boot Camp this summer in four cities across the country - Los Angeles, Albuquerque, Annapolis and Santa Fe (June & July).

For those who are not familiar with KIDS FIRST, the organization has a web site for kids where they can log in and participate in every aspect of the film industry.

Smart intelligent children - keen on filmmaking - even vote on movies each year and give them a popcorn rating!

Creating the KIDS FIRST! Film Critics Boot Camp was a natural next step for the 20-year-old organization, according to the organizers of the annual event.

In essence, the budding young stars are taught how to judge and critique media - and likewise - how to perform on-camera.

Kids ages 8 to 13 will get a chance to watch the latest films, meet film critics, and learn interview techniques.

In sum, the boot camp affords up-and-coming raw filmmaking talents (and critics) how to develop their creative skills.

And, they will do just that, under the tutelage of professionals in the field.

The goal is to help tweens build self confidence while they develop skills that will stay with them a lifetime.

A successful well-known 1st assistant director - Janet Davidson - is one of the teachers that will be at the helm at boot camp this summer.

DATES AND LOCATIONS

Warehouse 21,
1614 Paseo de Peralt
Sante Fe NM

June 13th – 17th

Quote…Unquote
519 Central N.W.
Albuquerque NM

June 20th – 24th

The Georgian Hotel
1415 Ocean Avenue
Santa Monica, CA

July 11th – July 15th

Filmsters
107 Annapolis St., Ste J,
Annapolis, MD

July 18th – July 22nd

Tuition $549
Early Registration $479
Materials, snacks, and lunches inclusive

Ages 8 - 13
Enrollment limited
Maximum 25 children per class
(some partial scholarships available)

Contact:

http://www.kidsfirst.org/

http://www.thetattler.com


Thursday, April 21, 2011

BART Blue Sky Festival...San Francisco celebrates smog-free skies! Vendors push environment! Free BART tix!







The promotional publicity still for Bart's "Blue Sky Festival" which kicked-off today in downtown San Francisco  on the waterfront  was straightforward and to the point.

The shot featured a relatively smog-free pristine blue sky with a few lazy fluffy clouds gently billowing here and there on the horizon.

The message was crystal clear!

Thanks to BART'S visionary efforts to enlighten motorists about alternatives to fossil fuels - the picturesque city by the bay is boasting that ridership is up on environmentally-safe public transport - and that fumes that once plagued the skyline are dissipating somewhat.

To celebrate, BART tossed an upbeat soiree that environmentally-conscious folks - and businesses - responded to in droves!

In essence, the "Blue Sky Festival" is centerpiece for the exchange of great environmental info, that runs in tandem with Earth Day which rolls around every spring.

Tourists, residents out giving their dogs a stretch, and city workers on lunch break, strolled through the plaza and munched on organically-grown strawberries, nutritious health drinks, and tasty energy-raising snacks as they mulled over environmentally safe products, and energy sources.

And, thanks to a popular local band - the Venusians - did so with a bounce in their step.

Their sound - consisting mainly of percussion, synthesizers, and strings - was somewhat reminiscent of the Penguin Cafe Orchestra (featured on YouTube) according to one observer with a keen ear.

Two Polar Bears danced around the stage to joyously celebrate a turn-around in their community.

Uh-huh!

Thanks to a new wave of environmental consciousness family members are being saved from extinction!

BART also offered up a nifty reward to curiosity-seekers who made a concerted effort to pop by and check out the booths.

Every attendee who presented a "passport" with six stamps on it (provided by the vendors present) was gifted with a free $6.00 BART pass!

But, a big buzz broke out in the crowd, when the opportunity to win a snazzy "fold up" bike presented itself.

Handy, when 'ya consider, that is the only two-wheeler that Officials on the Public Transportation system allow.

Other "green" friendly businesses participating included Bike Link / eLock, Breathe California & Greenbelt Alliance, City Car Share & ZipCar, Rock ' n Socks & Rickshaw Bagworks, Jamba Juice and Premier Organics.

If 'ya missed it, catch the Blue Sky Festival next year!

Or, at least, check out EarthShareCA.org for more details.








Barack Obama...Protesters stalk President in San Francisco! Medical Marijuana demands!

 




One protester waved a placard with a cartoon-like image of Uncle Sam with "Liar" crudely scrawled on its face, the San Francisco Police Department scrambled to put up barriers between a mob that had gathered and a Presidential motorcade, and a Government helicopter circled overhead signalling that Barack Obama was on his way.

As protestors chanted slogans ("Safe Acess Now" & "DEA Go Away! ") frenzied newsmen from the major Networks jockeyed for position at the curb in a bold-faced effort to capture the rally as it unfolded on the street about fifty feet away from the entrance of the St. Regis Hotel where the President was expected any minute.

Motorists honked their horns in support as the rag-tag gang of citizens shouted out their slogans and angrily denounced President Obama for failing to honor a promise.

Shortly after Obama took office, he promised to end the persistent DEA para-military-style raids on pot dispensaries in California.

Readers at forgus beylan may recall I posted a feature on the issue shortly after I received a press release from the White House.

Post: 10/19/10

http://forgusbeylan.blogspot.com/2009/10/medical-marijuanafederal-government.html

However, for some inexplicable reason, the President failed to follow through on his promise.

In spite of the fact the "Compassionate use of Medical Marijuana" was voted into law a few years ago, the DEA has continued to raid California pot dispensaries, at whim.

I previously attended protests at DEA headquarters and reported on the issues.

Post:  12/02/2010

http://forgusbeylan.blogspot.com/2010/02/marijuana-ballot-measure-to-legalize.html

Today, the President was undoubtedly aware of the greeting that awaited him at the St. Regis, judging by the show of force at the entrance of the Hotel, in the streets outside, and all-around a full city block.

In fact, when first strolled down the 3rd Street before the protest was underway, I stumbled on a couple of undercover cops whispering into walkie-talkies.

In one funny moment, a meter maid sped up to a parked car to issue a ticket - at which point - a gentleman darted out and informed her it was his vehicle and that he was with the Secret Service!
When the motorcade arrived, it was replete with a San Francisco Police Depatment escort, consisting of at least ten armed officers on motorcyles (with sirens sounding and lights flashing) and at least a dozen-or-so high-security vehicles (including a bomb squad!).

One reporter quizzed one of the protesters in jest.

"Do you think the President knows that you're here?  Do you think he cares?"

The spirited activist responded in the negative naturally.

It would have been a beautiful moment for the President - if he had only stopped by at the curb - and uttered up a few assurances.

Or, would the political mumble-jumble have amounted to more hollow promises? 

The same old same old!

For the protesters, it was a challenging day, to say the least.

A fierce wind blew down Market Street and icy temperatures chilled to the bone.

The Medical Marijuana activists drifted into a pre-arranged location at 3rd & Market Streets - where they worked out the details of their game plan - so the rally would be more impacting when it went down.

I thought it ironic that the starting point for the protest was in front of the  the AT & T building.

After all, the dedicated ativists wanted to reach out and touch at least one special person!

Needless to say, the brave upstarts got the cold shoulder from the President, and were kept at arm's length.

At one point, security spied a blue knapsack that appeared to be left unattended on the street.

Before pouncing on the mysterious bag, officers went through the crowds to determine if it belonged to any of the protesters, or a member of the press.

A few minutes later - when they were unable to determine who it belonged to - one officer (who had been quite respectful maintaining control of the protesters earlier) rifled through it to determine its contents.

The San Francisco Police Department should be commended for doing an exemplary job.

When I started towards an area where the protesters were forming, one officer quizzed me about my intentions, before letting me pass.

I pointed out that I was there to cover the protest, at which point, he noted that arrangements had been made to coral the activists at one location where they would be able to exercise their right to free speech.

Meanwhile, the blockade all around the hotel was causing a few headaches for commuters heading off to work.

Unfortunately, many were forced to detour around the Hotel to reach their destinations.

When they arrived late at the office, would their bosses believe their flimsy excuses?

A few tourists were literally confused!

But, all in all, it was a peaceful rally with good spirits all around.

Too bad the star of the event was a "no show" - in the street with the voting public - at least.

How will this impact his image - and his ratings in the polls - I wonder.

News at 11!

http://www.thetattler.biz/


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Dining Out For Life...fundraiser for A.I.D.S. on April 28th! Subaru sponsored!







If you're planning to head out and dine around town on April 28th, why not participate in an annual event - "Dining Out for Life" - which is co-sponsored by Subaru?

Participating restaurants - over 3500 in number around the United States - are donating a generous percentage of each meal served on that day to an AIDS service organization.

Last year more than 250,000 participants helped raise nearly $4 million dollars!

In exchange for their financial support restaurants are listed in a city wide marketing campaign in an effort to increase customer traffic.

Dining Out For Life® was created by an ActionAIDS volunteer in Philadelphia in 1991.

Since then, dozens of high profile personalities have stepped up to promote the worthy cause.

For example, Ted Allen - the host of Food Network’s hit series "Chopped" - has been quite vocal about the project for good reason.

"It s more important than ever to keep HIV/AIDS on the front burner. Too many people think it's a minor problem solved by swallowing a few pills. It isn't. Second, while supporting local restaurants, chefs, and restaurant workers, Dining Out for Life donations help those right in the same community. Finally, the event gives everybody a chance to make a meaningful contribution to the cause in such a simple way," he noted in a recent press release."

Although much about the disease has changed over the past 30 years, the fact remains that an estimated 1.2 million people are living with HIV/AIDS in the United States, nearly half without appropriate healthcare.

With one in five people not even realizing they are infected, it is estimated that 60,000 new HIV infections will occur in the U.S. this year, with the majority under age 29.

Now is the time for caring individuals to step up-to-bat!

“This country is trying desperately to recover from the recession, and the people who used to donate or volunteer at food banks and soup kitchens now are struggling to feed their own families. It is more important than ever for those of us who are able, to donate time and resources.”

Participating Restaurants

http://www.diningoutforlife.com

Facebook Chat

http://www.Facebook.com/DineOut4Life

Twitter Chat

http://www.twitter.com/DineOut4Life

See 'ya at one of the participating restaurants on the 28th of April, eh?

http://www.thetattler.biz





Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The Escort...Hilarious Hit @ Geffen closes May 8th! Catch it!









It's been a great ride - for the actors and the audiences - even the playright Jane Anderson.

But, that's show biz!

The world-premiere production of the hit stage comedy - The Escort - is slated to close May 8th.

Imagine that, a play about a call girl, who never exposes any seductive flesh under the floodlights!

According to the talented playwrite, the underlying theme has been facilitated in the past for the purposes of expressing lyrical, political, and erotic symbology.

In "The Escort", the writer has orchestrated a relationship featuring a prostitute and her gynecologist in order to challenge long-held beliefs about morality, family, and class.

The opening scene is a shocker!

Charlotte - the main character drops her robe during the course of a monologue - and urges ticket-holders to either relax or take advantage of the shadows to get aroused!

Essentially, the well-crafted play is all about a high-class call girl, who tests the liberal mores of her doctor as their relationship gets personal and complicated.

Strictly taboo!

The cast stars Maggie Siff  as Charlotte (Sons of Anarchy), Polly Draper as Rhona (thirtysomething), James Eckhouse as Howard (90210), and Gabriel Sunday as Lewis/Matthew (My Suicide).

Lisa Peterson directs the show.

"The Escort" has been garnering rave reviews - even from tough critics - I dare say!

“Beautifully staged. Wiill propel heated chat out of the kitchen up into the bedroom, and into the shower the next morning," enthused a critic at Variety.

The Huntington Post also raved.

“A brilliant new work ... provocative, stimulating … destined to live in our minds and hearts for a long, long time.”

Why did Anderson pen "The Escort"?

“I’m pretty conservative in my sexual tastes,” Anderson fessed up.

“That’s why I needed to write the play. Being a liberal woman who grew up in the ’70s, I was part of the sexual revolution and witnessed it. But because I’m monogamous and we also have a 16-year-old son, I can only go so far. I wanted to find out why I was built my way and why other people are able to be very sexually free.”

MISSION: ACCOMPLISHED!

TICKETS

http://geffenplayhouse.com/more_info.php?show_id=18

http://www.thetattler.biz





Barack Obama...Medical Marijuana protesters to confront President tomorrow! St. Regis! San Francisco!






 








When President Obama slips out of a limo purring curbside to attend a "Breakfast with the President" soiree bright-and-early tomorrow in downtown San Francisco there will be a rag-tag gang of protesters from Americans For Safe Access (ASA) on hand to demand that the President fulfill a promise to guarantee all "Patient Rights" in respect to the compassionate use of Medical Marijuana.

In spite of Obama's insistence - that the DEA Military-style raids on pot dispensaries would cease - they have persisted in recent days!

Tattler readers may recall that I attended and reported on street protests in the past:

Post:  02/08/2010

http://forgusbeylan.blogspot.com/2010/02/marijuana-ballot-measure-to-legalize.html

At this point, the mantra should be:

We're mad as hell, and we're not going to take it anymore!

"It's time we held the President accountable for his broken promise," a spokesperson informed me earlier this afternoon in a hasty press notice that was fired off by e-mail from ASA Headquarters.

The vocal activists are going to turn-out tomorrow - in full force - in front of the St. Regis Hotel.

"This is the time to pull our community together, express our displeasure with Obama's lack of regard for our community, and demand that he live up to his promises."

RALLY FOR PATIENT RIGHTS

St. Regist Hotel
125 3rd Street
San Francisco, CA

TIME

7:30 a.m.

FLYERS

Supporters attening the rally are instructed to print and distribute fliers which may be downloaded from the Americans for Safe Access web site.

http://safeacceesnow.org

SAMPLE FLYERS

"We are Sick and Tired!"

"Protect Cannabis Patients' Rights!"

"Reschedule Cannabis Now!"

"Federal Protection Not Federal Prosecution!"

CARPOOLS

Protestors may contact ASA to arrange for car pools so that interested parties without transportation may attend the event in downtown San Francisco.

 action@safeaccessnow.org.

http://www.thetattler.biz


Laura Linney...perfect for role of Socialite! Scandals of Privileged Few!








Last week I raved about the production of "Upstairs Downstairs" which was broadcast on PBS on Masterpiece Classics.

One of my favorite actresses - Laura Linney (Tales of the City) - took on the role of gracious host and introduced the much-ballyhooed high-brow potboiler.

As Ms. Linney was offering up a brief synopsis of the well-crafted mini-series (adapted from a Jane Austin novel) it suddenly hit me like a thunderbolt.

The charismatic beauty was the perfect actress to play the juicy role of - Candace Whitney - one of the main characters in my first novel -"Scandals of the Privileged Few - which I am currently serializing on forgus beylan each week.

OMG!

If I ever get funding - and an offer to produce the project - Ms. Linney has first dibs!

News at 11!

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Upstairs Downstairs

Curtis Stone...Celebrity Chef hosts Penfolds Premiere Grange Dinner! San Francisco!








That - oh! so sexy! - top celebrity Chef "Curtis Stone" (TV personality extraordinaire!) - jets into the bay area next week to host a chi chi Vintage Wine tasting event and dinner.

The spikey-haired blond hottie - with the puppy-dog eyes and captivating measured speech - doesn't come on the cheap!

The glittering soiree - being pushed by his slick handlers as an ultra-tony "Premiere Grange Dinner" (sponsored by Penfolds Vintage Wine Cellars) - is selling out fast at $350 a pop!

The elite few who attend will have a delicous opportunity to sample a dazzling array of sought-after wines, such as Penfolds Grange Shiraz (2006), Penfolds St. Henri Shiraz (2007), Penfolds Bin 707 Cabernet Sauvignon (2008), Penfolds RWT Barossa Valley Shiraz (2008), and Penfolds Yattarna Chardonnay (2008).

The much-ballyood celebrity-studded event is slated to kick off on April 30th at 7 p.m.

The following day, on May 1st, a wine-tasting ceremony will follow-up at a humbler more-affordabe rate of $75.00 with Winemaking Ambassador Matt Lane at the helm.

Reservations and Information

Lily.Lane@penfolds.com

707.299.3252




Latino and Asian voters...cry foul! At-large elections not fair!







Years ago, when Harvey Milk first ran for office in the Castro District, he lost the first couple of times out at the polling stations.

That is a little known footnote in San Francisco (and LGBT) history.

The reason he failed to nab the popular vote first-time out in the heady days of open-and-out gay activism?

Quite simply, the city districts were structured in such a way, that the election process did not favor the homosexual community.

However, once the Castro District was rezoned, Milk was able to snap up the majority - in neighborhood where the voters were mostly gay or homo-friendly - go figure!

Now, the Asian and Latino communities in San Mateo County are crying foul for the same reason.

The two ethnic groups make up one quarter of the county's nearly 72,000 residents and a slightly smaller share of its voting-age population.

So, what is the fuss all about?

The two minorities are lamenting the fact that only one Latino - and no Asians-Americans - have held seats on the five-member Board of Supervisors since 1995.

According to a spokesperson for the disgruntled voters, the at-large system - combined with alleged "racially polarized voting" - unlawfully deprives Latino and Asian members in the community to voice their preferences meaningfully with ballot-in-hand.

For this reason, a lawsuit - based on voting rights - has been filed against San Mateo County.

The plaintiffs are demanding that the Judge presiding over the proceedings declare the upcoming county-wide elections illegal. 

Pursuant to state law, attorney Robert Rubin (Lawyers' Committee for Civil Rights) has argued that new election districts should include a majority-Latino and majority-Asian American district.

"And, perhaps there should be a third district, in which two groups together form a majority," he noted, in an after-thought.

In response, County Counsel John Beiers has stated for the record in no uncertain terms, that he has not seen any evidence that the at-large system weakens the voting power of Latinos or Asian Americans.

The underlying arguments that the suit is based on refers to a 2002 California voting-rights Law that prohibits at-large elections in areas with a history of racially polarized voting - such as in the case where the majority voted as a bloc - against minority candidates and minority interests.

The litigants are optimistic about their chances of prevailing in court.

After all, an appeals court upheld the law in a suit against Modesto, in 2006.

On the heels of the ruling, the city switched from an at-large system to district elections.

In defense, opponents argue quite vigorously that at-large elections encourage voters to consider diverse views of an entire city or county.

But, critics pooh pooh that notion, for good reason.

In their view, the at-large elections allow a majority - whether racial or political - to control a governing board and ignore minority concerns.

We'll see which way the wind blows, after the issues are hashed out in court.

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Beachfront property worth fighting for!

Scandals...of the Privileged Few! A Novel by Julian Ayrs! Chapter 4!











'Lincecum was obviously shooting for his fourteenth no-hitter," Jock theorized, as he threw back a shot of whiskey and snatched up a handful of salted peanuts to munch on.

"Damn! Missed that," Colby groaned, without skipping a beat.

"I was stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the Golden Gate," he fumed.

"Some asshole ran out of gas in the middle of the bridge and caused a huge traffic jam.

"Times are tough, 'ya know. A lot of folks can't afford to just filler 'er up, these days like they used to. Not at $4.50 a gallon. Five bucks, here. Ten bucks, there. Fortunately, I have a gauge on my dash that keeps an eye on the gas and mileage. Talk about a guzzler! But, at least I'm not running-on-empty."

"So, do 'ya bet on the Giants, or what," Colby quizzed with a sly grin on his face.

"Got any action 'ya can turn me on to?"

"Naw!"

Jock considered himself a bit of an amateur sports writer when it came to America's favorite pastime - and the Giants – of course.

Shortly after he caught the black and orange bug a few months ago (just before the rag-tag team was thrown together by Bochy and roared on to nab the World Championships) Jock launched a blog on the internet to keep track of each glorious hit, homer, and nasty slide.

The California transplant liked to think that he was actually fanning fan frenzy, egging the ballplayers on from the sidelines, and boosting morale.

The blog was gaining momentum - which was gratifying – because he’d tinkered with the concept quite a bit to get it up-and-running.

On occasion, Jock would glance up from his laptop – a bit weary-eyed and worse-for-wear – and be taken aback when he spied the two hands on the antique Grandfather clock in the hall spelling out some ungodly hour at the crack of dawn.

"Spare time on my free evenings is gobbled up just like that," he bluntly noted to Colby, as he snapped his fingers to accentuate the fact.

If he wasn’t careful - he’d be sucked into a vortex –  beyond this dimension inside the computer screen.

"So, 'ya getting many hits these days?"

"Uh-huh," Jock beamed, with smug satisfaction, as he double-checked the score for a hockey game on the wide-screen TV overhead running on muted mode overhead.

"The college kids want iTunes – pop chart stuff - when they're cruising the bimbos and letting off steam," the owner fessed up.

"Hitter's Paradise” had all the look and feel of a gritty New York sports bar - except for the lack of sports anchors droning in the background - in the dimly-lit watering hole.

"I installed this really cool tracking software. It's amazing, when 'ya think about it. Every day when I check the stats, I'm blown away. I have followers all the way down the coast, and North up to Alaska - even overseas in Germany and Italy - you name it!"

Once the traffic started to rev up, Jock was keen on fathoming ways to jazz up the web site, with the hope that he’d attract more dedicated fans.

By analyzing the numbers, Jock – a newbie, when it came to computers - was able to figure out which of the Giants were snapping up the most attention and why.

Yeah, it was turning out to be a popularity contest, like it or not.

Some folks may fear the beard – or think he’s downright wacky – but golly.

Wilson had quite a following, it was undeniable.

So, at the suggestion of an advertising exec he played golf with, Jock started posting action shots of Wilson, Tim Lincecum, and Buster Posey in ubiquitous hot-spots on the site.

If the featured players passed the litmus test – got a few hundred clicks or two – the images were left to grace the homepage.

Right now, Jock was trying to rustle up sponsors to generate some moolah, too.

Ultimately, he was anxious to expand and develop his sports blog and - in particular - a highlight he kiddingly referred to as the - "baseball web of fame".

"Heh, maybe I’ll tell my boss to take the job and shove it one day,” he cackled gleefully one raucous night, after he had a few mood-altering cocktails under his belt.

Lincecum was the player he admired the most.

"It’s uncanny. That arm of his is a gold mine, alright” he boasted on Tim’s behalf to his pals just prior to the start up of a match on local turf at AT & T ballpark over the weekend.

“And, sometimes - the way the sunlight falls on his face in the middle of a play - it's awesome, really."

"Sheer poetry in motion. Yup," an older gent, down-in-his-cups, uttered up from the shadows near the back door.

"Sometimes, you have to wonder – what’s he thinking under that baseball cap - once it's so tightly screwed down over his forehead."

Is he shy, or what?

"Modest, just betcha. It’s important to cut the bullshit and focus on the task at hand,” Jock added, matter-of-fact.

"The way Lincecum takes command on the pitcher's mound after they've been biting the dust. It's – well – mesmerizing!”

"Well, they don't call him the freak for no good reason, eh?" Colby teased in jest.

"Hard luck for Zito, though. What - he's out a month - that right?"

"Sprained his right foot," Jock uttered up in disgust.

"Zito dove to catch a pop in front of the mound in the 2nd inning. Risky, didn’t pay off, in the end."

"He left the clubhouse on crutches with a swollen ankle. Nothing broken, though."

"Pussy!"

Colby laughed out loud.

"It gets my goat, the way some of the ballplayers – Bumgarner, for example – lick their wounds in public.”

"Today was a huge step for me from where I've been. I started getting confidence back and to believe in myself a little more," Jock mimicked, at which point Colby cracked up, and slapped his buddy on the back in agreement.

"But, on occasion - when he reveals his sensitive feminine side - it gives me a roaring hard on.”

"The kid is too touchy-feely. He needs to beef up," the bartender quipped as he strode by in the direction of a table of lugheads with a half-a-dozen brewskies frothing at their mouths on a silver tray.

"Pump some iron, at least," Colby joked, as he unloosened his tie and rolled up his sleeves.

"Time to get down and get dirty."

It had been a tough day down at the stock exchange.

When a reporter announced on the local news that there was a shift in management at one of his top-sellers the stock took a nose dive.

"Didn't lose my shirt, though. Never have, yet!"

One of these days, he vowed he was going to get out of the racket.

Time to unwind!

“Party-time,” Colby cheered a bit shit-faced.

"One round on me, Frankie," he belted out to the bartender, as he slightly slurred his words.

"You're cut off," the struggling actor kidded, as he spun on his heel - tossed a bottle in the air - and on the rebound ceremoniously poured out a couple of shots with style and pizzazz.

"No, this one's on me, bud!"

"Fag," he barked out jokingly.

"Takes one to know one," he goosed back.

Colby chuckled.

About this time of the night, the bawdy locker room antics of the locals, usually revved up.

Ah, life was sweet.

He gulped down a tall glass of ice wate and popped a couple of aspirins.

That little cautionary act on a night of boozing usually prevented a splitting headache from rearing its ugly head the next day.

___________________________________________________


"Quite a turn-out," Candace whispered under her breath to her husband, as she maneuvered her way through Wilsey Court, in search of an obliging waiter with a tray of champagne in hand.

The one-hundred-or-so Balenciaga designer gowns on exhibit at the de Young Museum were simply exquisite.

"Anna loves the show, but with a laugh noted it was time for Hamish to get back to work," she overheard Sloan Barrett joke, as she flitted off to get a glimpse of Gwyneth Paltrow.

"Oh, she's posing for photographers with Juliet de Baubigny. You know, the hot-to-trot blond who pushes venture capital at Kleiner Perkins," one of her bridge buddies cooed with a slight dig in her voice.

The Balenciaga Gala brought out the power elite, that's for sure, one excited interior decorator gushed to his bottle-blond boyfriend in an aside.

Anna Wintour, the Editor for Vogue, was holding court in one corner.

In another alcove, Maria Bello and Mia Wasikowska – two talented actresses out-on-the-town – chatted each other up oblivious to the showy goings-on raging on all around them with gay abandon.

Mayer (Google) and Sheryl Sandberg (Facebook) – both dressed-to-the-nines in sparkly pricey frocks – talked tech shop.

Go figure!

A tastefully decorated tented patio was the place to schmooze - if a guest was capable of finagling his or her way inside the canvas gate – and likewise - manage to locate a plum perch.

Stanlee Gatti’s dazzling purple banquettes - festively adorned with eye-catching floral centerpieces topped with ornate black branches and sprigs of orange rinds - were a hit with the chic set in attendance.

"Did you get his card, dear," one socialite decked out in heavy artillery - a dazzling array of precious and semi-precious gems draped around her thin elegant neck - pestered her escort.

Former Mayor, Gavin Newsom, was seen glad-handing supporters as he flirted with a pretty lady or two.

His wife didn’t appear to be miffed at the glaring slight.

Was that really Orlando Bloom looking nonchalant and sporting a designer tux?

“He’s more of a stud in the flesh,” Candace mused to herself.

On screen, he came off a little bit too pretty - effeminate, in fact - Candace giggled to a handsome lawyer who was a Senior partner at the Meagan, Flom, and Del Toux.

After gently nursing a couple of glasses of bubbly down, Candace felt a little tipsy.

The pretty ball gowns adorning the svelte frames of the tony elite tonight signaled that black was the hue and cry of the fashionistas this season.

Pastels occasionally made a splashy entrance – and thus - managed to brighten up the sumptuous but staid - environs a smidgen.

Individual style – buoyed up with subtle romantic flourishes - was still in vogue.

“Timeless in appeal,” one up-and-coming dress designer sniffed in an arrogant snotty tone of voice.

Candace’s ankles were killing her.

She was tempted to slip the heels right off her feet, and stroll barefoot on the cool expensive marble floor, but decided against it.

It was silly to have tossed the pricey designer footwear on in view of the fact the Museum was packed to capacity.

For starters, some slightly inebriated fool might step on her toes, or - at a minimum - spill an exotic cocktail all over her spanking-new shoes.

On the other hand, the soiree was so packed, that it was doubtful anyone would be able to catch sight of her dainty beautifully-crafted high heels below the hectic fray.

Besides, as they say in Hollywood - if they're looking at your feet - you're in trouble.

For 39, she was still a looker, thanks to the skillful handiwork of a precise plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills.

No nips and tucks, not for Candace!

Who wants to end up with a ghastly stretched face mirroring that of Joan Rivers?

Dr. Logan diligently extracted a bit of fat drooping at the eyelid, for starters.

Then, expertly dealt with the crow’s feet.

Injections – fillers, as they’re referred to – triggered a magical transformation.

Within minutes, her skin was as smooth and as wrinkle-free as a baby’s virgin bottom.

In her youth, the seductive bombshell often engaged in a daily ritual, which just about ruined her skin permanently.

Every day around noon, she’s slip out to the pool – don a skimpy bikini – then slather on thick baby oil mixed with iodine.

For the next hour or two, the New Yorker would bake in the sizzling hot sun, unaware of the devastating damage she was causing.

Today, Candace recoils in horror at the mere thought of punishing her skin in that senseless fashion.

The former top model wised up.

What was the worst time of day to saunter out for some rays?

At peak hours – when the sun beat down in all its intensity – between 11 o’clock in the morning and 3 o’clock in the afternoon.

Just twenty minutes in direct sunlight can cause irreversible permanent damage.

Yes, slapping on skin block and moisturizers was of the utmost importance to ensure radiant healthy skin prevailed.

But, it was also essential to remain hydrated, and likewise, feast on delicious fresh fruit and raw vegetables rich in vitamins and nutrients.

In addition to a nourishing diet, a full night’s rest was key, too.

“Oh, Ms. Whitney is so high maintenance,” her nanny used to giggle to all within earshot.

Uh-huh.

You get the face you deserve at 50!

She always had this strange idea that a person’s thoughts, their feelings – even their attitude about life – influenced the process of exterior aging (and ultimately shaped first expressions and the overall attitude of a face).

Hard rockers like Mick Jagger and Keith Richards were not only perfect examples of what happens with skin care negligence  - but illustrated the horrors of what happens when an indiviudal pursues a wild party lifestyle with a vengeance.

At least her husband didn't stray - and hot-blooded males still made a play for her – alright.

Why not?

She wasn’t a cougar by any stretch of the imagination.

On the contrary, Candace was elegant, and stylish, and carried herself well.

"Oh, Candace, there you are!"

She turned, as Armistead Maupin came into view.

"There’s someone I want you to meet,” he gushed.

After he gave a little bow, a broad smile swept across his face.

Classy man.

Not a bad writer, either.

It wasn’t always wise to open up too much to Maupin, though.

Without intending to – and certainly not with any malicious forethought – friends and acquaintances (the shells of them at least?) often turned up between the hard-bound covers of his bestsellers.

Go figure!

On occasion, the guessing game became party fodder, alright.

Candace needed to lighten up, relax, and savor life more.

Some days, it was difficult to let her guard down, though.

A wall - a mask she hid behind - separated her from the rest of the world.

Unknown to many, she’d suffered through the school of hard knocks, though.

Who knew?

She raised herself up – when no one else would lend a hand – which was good on her.

Uh-huh.

A deep dark secret lurked beneath the surface, and sometimes gnawed away at her very soul, though no one else was aware of it.

Consequently, hooking up with her husband was a Godsend, in many respects.

While he waas out of town - usually on business - Candace was often left to her own devices.

Indeed, she was left to indulge in her new-found independence - and most importantly - pursue her interests in the Ballet, Modern Art,  and flower arrangement.

Orchids were her favorite.

The name - Orchid - came from the Greek "órkhis" which literally means "testicle" because of the shape of the root.

In most cultures, the exotic flower has been seen a symbol of beauty, royalty or love.

In Europe, orchids were used as a main ingredient in love potions.

Ancient Greeks also associated orchids with virility and fertility.

It was believed that if the father of an unborn child ate the largest and newest orchid stems and roots, then their child would be a male. But if the mother ate small orchid roots and stems, then she would give birth to a girl.

Today, the pink orchid is commonly designated as the 14th wedding anniversary flower, symbolizing affection and love.

That reminded her, they'd be celebrating their 13th, next week.

Maybe they should take a relaxing cruise to Hawaii?

(to be continued)

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